Post by Anemone on Nov 10, 2007 19:22:42 GMT -5
Thanks everyone! Many of you may have noticed me sending you a few PM's about what you believe. I hope you don't mind, because your responses have actually helped me a lot.
As for the article, what affected me most was that the writer's story echoed my own in so many ways, and I was bothered that someone who admitted that they had gotten into drugs, deluded themselves into believing anything, etc. claimed to have been literally spoken to by God... and everyone believes her! I started wondering if all religions were, as she said, the figments of people searching too hard for an experiential relationship with deity. Here's the article: www.spiritwatch.org/pagtest1.htm (It doesn't look quite so credible on the web as it does on paper, now that I'm seeing it on my screen.)
And I'm in America. I could practice... but if my parents say no, there's no way I could legally get support to defy them and go ahead anyway. Praying to a different god (or goddess!) is one thing, but setting up an altar or something is a little hard to get away with. Same reason that high schoolers will get suspended for protesting school decisions in my area. Even if it will greatly affect the students, they don't get a say in what happens. People don't think teenagers can make their own decisions, apparently. At least, that's the vibe I get...
And I think part of it is that not only am I a teenager, but I'm a philosophy geek! I love philosophy! It makes me a little too eager to question things, maybe. It's a good thing, but I'm a little obsessed with analyzing spiritual things. As this probably shows, it gets me into deep water sometimes.
Anyway, I've begun to piece back together my beliefs. After worrying about it, I've finally decided that my old habits of dream interpretation and drawing a card out of my oracle deck every morning aren't evil. Everyone has dreams! Even respected psychologists agree that they can tell you things. I've also refound my love of nature, now that I've calmed down and can think about it. No matter what religion you're in, all life is still sacred, so being a little pantheistic is again comfortable.
As for deity... I'm going to talk to my pastor tomorrow, to ask him questions about my problems with the Christian vision of God. Who knows? Maybe I'll find out that what I thought about Christianity wasn't the reality at all. Maybe he can even suggest other, different spiritual paths that offer what I'm looking for.
And thanks for the suggestions, Vorch! I've actually (believe it or not) been staying away from books. I don't really know why... Probably because my favorite books are all rather spiritual in nature, anyway. (I've got a freakish amount of books about faeries and science fiction about prophets and religious kings and stuff. I like allegory, I guess.)
Thanks again! My life is calming down, and the pieces of my beliefs are coming back together. I've been able to take things from both religions, decide what fits best, and keep communications open with my family and friends about what they believe and such to fill in the blank spaces.
As for the article, what affected me most was that the writer's story echoed my own in so many ways, and I was bothered that someone who admitted that they had gotten into drugs, deluded themselves into believing anything, etc. claimed to have been literally spoken to by God... and everyone believes her! I started wondering if all religions were, as she said, the figments of people searching too hard for an experiential relationship with deity. Here's the article: www.spiritwatch.org/pagtest1.htm (It doesn't look quite so credible on the web as it does on paper, now that I'm seeing it on my screen.)
And I'm in America. I could practice... but if my parents say no, there's no way I could legally get support to defy them and go ahead anyway. Praying to a different god (or goddess!) is one thing, but setting up an altar or something is a little hard to get away with. Same reason that high schoolers will get suspended for protesting school decisions in my area. Even if it will greatly affect the students, they don't get a say in what happens. People don't think teenagers can make their own decisions, apparently. At least, that's the vibe I get...
And I think part of it is that not only am I a teenager, but I'm a philosophy geek! I love philosophy! It makes me a little too eager to question things, maybe. It's a good thing, but I'm a little obsessed with analyzing spiritual things. As this probably shows, it gets me into deep water sometimes.
Anyway, I've begun to piece back together my beliefs. After worrying about it, I've finally decided that my old habits of dream interpretation and drawing a card out of my oracle deck every morning aren't evil. Everyone has dreams! Even respected psychologists agree that they can tell you things. I've also refound my love of nature, now that I've calmed down and can think about it. No matter what religion you're in, all life is still sacred, so being a little pantheistic is again comfortable.
As for deity... I'm going to talk to my pastor tomorrow, to ask him questions about my problems with the Christian vision of God. Who knows? Maybe I'll find out that what I thought about Christianity wasn't the reality at all. Maybe he can even suggest other, different spiritual paths that offer what I'm looking for.
And thanks for the suggestions, Vorch! I've actually (believe it or not) been staying away from books. I don't really know why... Probably because my favorite books are all rather spiritual in nature, anyway. (I've got a freakish amount of books about faeries and science fiction about prophets and religious kings and stuff. I like allegory, I guess.)
Thanks again! My life is calming down, and the pieces of my beliefs are coming back together. I've been able to take things from both religions, decide what fits best, and keep communications open with my family and friends about what they believe and such to fill in the blank spaces.