Post by Azonthus on Mar 10, 2005 14:32:15 GMT -5
Eskara1862
doyenne
Posts: 1005
(9/21/04 10:37 pm)
Reply
Autumn Aura
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I hate fall, I really do. The only good thing about it is the creativity that sometimes springs from my sorrow. So, I give you another poem.
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How can the leaves be happy,
all dressed up for a gala?
Orange and red and yellow,
The dance on the breeze.
Falls chill breath embraces them,
and pulls them to the ground
in a floating ballet of death.
Laying there, crumpled,
their colors turn to dust.
I'll blow them away with my tears.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hawkeye's Hallucinations
The City of Mists The Waterfall City Registry The Realm of Role Play Journey to Dinotopia Art by Azonthus Hawkeye's Hallucination
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Misty Mountain Nursery
stefan de velociraptor
self-proclaimed
know-it-all
Posts: 61
(12/7/04 12:01 am)
Reply
Re: Autumn Aura
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another good one, however I still feel your poems don't 'flow' The content is good and the wording is pretty much okay, but they lack that smooth draggyness, like the pull of running water, the feeling you get as you drink. the poem feels like you're eating chocolate with rocks in it if you get the concept
'never underestimate the power of one'
know thineself, breathe deep, seek peace
thereisnosaurus, storyboard scrollkeeper
'outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, its too dark to read'
groucho marx
no mountain shall be too high, no valley too deep, no sight too dreadfull, no slope too steep. no light shall blind me, no darkness shall shroud me, no truth shall elude me, no lie shall decive me, no hate shall destroy me
I will be light
I will be darkness
I will be truth
I will be lies
but I will not hate. Love shall be my sword, honour my shield and the knowledge of my duty as strong as any armour'
the oath of the warrior
doyenne
Posts: 1005
(9/21/04 10:37 pm)
Reply
Autumn Aura
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I hate fall, I really do. The only good thing about it is the creativity that sometimes springs from my sorrow. So, I give you another poem.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How can the leaves be happy,
all dressed up for a gala?
Orange and red and yellow,
The dance on the breeze.
Falls chill breath embraces them,
and pulls them to the ground
in a floating ballet of death.
Laying there, crumpled,
their colors turn to dust.
I'll blow them away with my tears.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hawkeye's Hallucinations
The City of Mists The Waterfall City Registry The Realm of Role Play Journey to Dinotopia Art by Azonthus Hawkeye's Hallucination
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Misty Mountain Nursery
stefan de velociraptor
self-proclaimed
know-it-all
Posts: 61
(12/7/04 12:01 am)
Reply
Re: Autumn Aura
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
another good one, however I still feel your poems don't 'flow' The content is good and the wording is pretty much okay, but they lack that smooth draggyness, like the pull of running water, the feeling you get as you drink. the poem feels like you're eating chocolate with rocks in it if you get the concept
'never underestimate the power of one'
know thineself, breathe deep, seek peace
thereisnosaurus, storyboard scrollkeeper
'outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, its too dark to read'
groucho marx
no mountain shall be too high, no valley too deep, no sight too dreadfull, no slope too steep. no light shall blind me, no darkness shall shroud me, no truth shall elude me, no lie shall decive me, no hate shall destroy me
I will be light
I will be darkness
I will be truth
I will be lies
but I will not hate. Love shall be my sword, honour my shield and the knowledge of my duty as strong as any armour'
the oath of the warrior