Post by Azonthus on Mar 10, 2005 14:31:08 GMT -5
Eskara1862
doyenne
Posts: 1000
(8/29/04 2:44 pm)
Reply
Banshee
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A poem I had to write, but still don't feel is finished. We'll see if I'll allow that little poem to flower even more, or if it is done.
I am banshee
Scream my agony
Hear my voice
I welcome you
to eternity
filled with shadow
Thorns tear
Desire burns
Spirit dies.
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Hawkeye's Hallucinations
The City of Mists The Waterfall City Registry The Realm of Role Play Journey to Dinotopia Art by Azonthus Hawkeye's Hallucination
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Misty Mountain Nursery
Edited by: Eskara1862 at: 8/29/04 3:01 pm
stefan de velociraptor
self-proclaimed
know-it-all
Posts: 58
(12/6/04 11:35 pm)
Reply
Re: Banshee
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once again, nice and very emotive. the triplet format works here as it increases the sharp, angry tones. the i and ee sounds are good as well, sharp and 'screamy' as it were. you might want to try changing welcome for greet as the latter has a bitier tone to it. up to you. if you want to go further, try only having monosylabic words to emulate quick sharp angry sounds and the atmosphere generaly generated by banshees, vampires and other such fiends
'never underestimate the power of one'
know thineself, breathe deep, seek peace
thereisnosaurus, storyboard scrollkeeper
'outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, its too dark to read'
groucho marx
no mountain shall be too high, no valley too deep, no sight too dreadfull, no slope too steep. no light shall blind me, no darkness shall shroud me, no truth shall elude me, no lie shall decive me, no hate shall destroy me
I will be light
I will be darkness
I will be truth
I will be lies
but I will not hate. Love shall be my sword, honour my shield and the knowledge of my duty as strong as any armour'
the oath of the warrior
doyenne
Posts: 1000
(8/29/04 2:44 pm)
Reply
Banshee
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A poem I had to write, but still don't feel is finished. We'll see if I'll allow that little poem to flower even more, or if it is done.
I am banshee
Scream my agony
Hear my voice
I welcome you
to eternity
filled with shadow
Thorns tear
Desire burns
Spirit dies.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hawkeye's Hallucinations
The City of Mists The Waterfall City Registry The Realm of Role Play Journey to Dinotopia Art by Azonthus Hawkeye's Hallucination
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Misty Mountain Nursery
Edited by: Eskara1862 at: 8/29/04 3:01 pm
stefan de velociraptor
self-proclaimed
know-it-all
Posts: 58
(12/6/04 11:35 pm)
Reply
Re: Banshee
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
once again, nice and very emotive. the triplet format works here as it increases the sharp, angry tones. the i and ee sounds are good as well, sharp and 'screamy' as it were. you might want to try changing welcome for greet as the latter has a bitier tone to it. up to you. if you want to go further, try only having monosylabic words to emulate quick sharp angry sounds and the atmosphere generaly generated by banshees, vampires and other such fiends
'never underestimate the power of one'
know thineself, breathe deep, seek peace
thereisnosaurus, storyboard scrollkeeper
'outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, its too dark to read'
groucho marx
no mountain shall be too high, no valley too deep, no sight too dreadfull, no slope too steep. no light shall blind me, no darkness shall shroud me, no truth shall elude me, no lie shall decive me, no hate shall destroy me
I will be light
I will be darkness
I will be truth
I will be lies
but I will not hate. Love shall be my sword, honour my shield and the knowledge of my duty as strong as any armour'
the oath of the warrior