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Post by Azonthus on Aug 11, 2005 7:22:38 GMT -5
Arms held the beloved schnauzer as he slowly slipped away. Bernie had been a good dog and he was old. Surely it was his time, but nobody was ever ready for the passing of a furry loved one.
Hot tears fell to the wirey gray fur.
Kevin reeled back from the breakroom door. Laura was sitting at the table, holding a cup of coffee and staring into its pellucid depths. The only illumination came from the Pepsi and vending machienes, bathing the room in eerie blue light.
He tried to escape as fast as possible before the torrent of memories swallowed him up again. His shoe squeaked as he turned and Laura looked up.
"Hey," she said quietly. Her eyes were red and puffy, as if she haddn't
GAAHHHH! The Valosaurus strikes and I must run hide. *whimpers* More story to come later.
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RedFeather
Junior Scholar
*flap, flap, flap!*
Posts: 423
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Post by RedFeather on Sept 3, 2005 10:44:10 GMT -5
Aww... so far, it's sad. But good. You had me captured for the minute it took me to read that.
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Post by GreySpectrum on Sept 3, 2005 21:16:37 GMT -5
Very good start to your story Az. I like the style of writing and how everything fits together. It's short yet descriptive and eye catching enough to keep interest in what's going on in the story. I'll be keeping an eye out for the rest of it if you decide to post it once completed.
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Post by Azonthus on Sept 7, 2005 12:46:11 GMT -5
Whoo! Thanks for the reminder (the posted comment) on this Greylight=) I have more written, but need to get it typed out. Let's see if I can actually remember it later...
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Post by utoraptor3000 on Oct 5, 2005 1:45:15 GMT -5
i love hearing your stories. they are so good
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Post by Azonthus on Nov 26, 2005 22:30:34 GMT -5
Arms held the beloved schnauzer as he slowly slipped away. Bernie had been a good dog and he was old. Surely it was his time, but nobody was ever ready for the passing of a furry loved one.
Hot tears fell to the wirey gray fur.
Kevin reeled back from the breakroom door. Laura was sitting at the table, holding a cup of coffee and staring into its pellucid depths. The only illumination came from the Pepsi and vending machienes, bathing the room in eerie blue light.
He tried to escape as fast as possible before the torrent of memories swallowed him up again. His shoe squeaked as he turned and Laura looked up.
"Hey," she said quietly. Her eyes were red and puffy, as if she haddn't slept all night. The strain of raising her sons by herself was apparent in the lines around her mouth.
"Is everything all right?" He already knew the answer.
"Yeah." She bit her lip, trying not to cry.
Bearnie as a puppy, wiggling around and chasing a ball too big for him.
Kevin stood there for a moment. Entering that room and sitting at the table with Laura would be like walking into a tornado and hoping the house flying at him would miss him and crush the witch instead.
"I just miss him so much," she whispered, a tear falling.
Curse this curse. Kevin entered the storm. He focused on the Twix bars in the vending machiene across the room, a brightly lit beacon of chocolate in a dark swirl of madness.
Bearning cringing as he was forced into the cage. He'd gotten into the trash, yet again. His yelp still resounded in her memory. This was followed by a huge wave of regret for the blow.
He reached the chair.
Bearning sleeping on the dirt outside.
Slowly, he managed to sit.
Bearnie burrowing under blankets for warmth.
Kevin forced himself to look at Laura and smile.
"My little dog died last night." She looked at her coffee. "It was an accident, but the kids left some chocolate in his reach."
"I'm sorry to hear that. How old was he?" Fifteen.
"Fifteen."
"Well, that is a long time for a dog to live." His sight was going and he was mostly deaf anyway.
"Yeah. He was a good dog." She reached over and squeezed Kevin's hand as a gesture of thanks for his kindness.
His eyes squeezed shut and his body stiffened with the contact. His lungs ceased to work and the air held in them would not escape. Images of the dogs life crowded into his brain, pushing out everything else. He began to cry, mourning the loss of a pet he never knew.
"I'm sorry for your loss," he managed to gasp.
"Thanks for understanding." She got up and went back to work, oblivious to his pain.
On a second thought, she poked her head back in. "You know, you're not as anti-social as everyone thinks."
He nodded, not realizing his eyes were still closed.
She left and the refridgerator kicked on, its humming pulling him back to reality.
Slowly, Kevin exhaled and forced his body to relax and his eyes to open. He hated always knowing what happened to everyone.
Standing, he took change from his pocket and bought a Mountain Dew and Doritos. This would be the last time he forgot his lunch, he'd be sure of that.
Kevin ate a quick lunch outside, free of the pressures inside the Planters factory. No matter what the weather was, he ate outside and alone. Weather just didn't bother him the way it apparently did others. Somehow, it just felt natural to eat ouside.
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Vira Redclaw
Explorer
Noble Dreamhome - Gorgosaurus
Posts: 86
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Post by Vira Redclaw on Nov 26, 2005 23:07:21 GMT -5
Ooh! This is really good. It captured my interest with the first few lines and made me want to cry. And I want to read more, I want to find out what happens next.
I think (I'm not sure) I found a couple typos though:
Or is the dog's name Bearning, and Bearnie for short?
Anyway, I can't wait until you get more done!
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